Looking back in anger

I just took the most scenic route through a tournament; my 'Manhattan' chip graph will have actually looked like Manhattan tonight, and not the Kent coastline, like it normally does. Yet I can't decide if I liked it or not.

An hour ago, I loved it; it made me feel alive, like a proper, confident gambler, like one of the Arabs in the Vic. Right now I want to bang my head on a table. I kinda like my glass brasserie-style table, though, so I have thusfar resisted.

Resolved to go for the 22 Euro EPT Ladies Monte Carlo quali. It now starts at 7.30pm with the clock change, so I can work late-ish and still do the Putney to Chiswick Dash (South West Trains-permitting, and without the trip to Tesco/the off license) and still make it home in time. Ok, I missed the first hand as I wasn't seated in time (hate that, am so superstitious), but couldn't lose for the first 45mins; I conned a French girl into giving me half her stack, with a bluff that turned into 2 beautiful sucker punches on the turn and river. Lost a bit trying to be too clever, but, hell I could afford to play - and was in a playful mood. Made 3 or 4 good (and 2 outrageous) bluffs. Loved it. I'll admit I am still trying to work out how a girl called my pre-flop raise and all my bets with J-10 off-suit (and quite how the poker Gods felt it appropriate to award her a straight on the river) mid-way through.
Then, with 18 or so left, I had an all-in behind me which was for virtually all my stack. I am annoyed with myself for even having to think about it, looking at KK, but then I saw her screen name; 'Antip'.

I took a deep breath, crossed my fingers, hoped she was a Saffer, and hit call with my right index finger, dropping it down onto the laptop 'mouse' button from a great height and with oodles of theatre. Thankfully she had AK (aka Anna Kournikova - looks great but rarely actually wins anything) and the other As stayed hidden away in the deck.

And then, somehow, really quickly, and totally inexplicably, it fell to bits. I say inexplicably; I got totally riled and lost all concentration and normal poker sense and I am flipping livid with myself.

I was moved to a new table and was sat to the left of a man - Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! A man with a silly gimpy photo, clearly taken in his place of work, on his button picture; a man that insisted on raising my blinds (without exception, hesitation or reservation) and every time I had nothing to defend them with - And sat to the right of a player who called for time EVERY HAND for EVERY DECISION.
It took me not much longer than 15 minutes to lose my rag with the pair of them and, intentionally or not, they made a GrumpieLeeshieQ2 sandwich. And the filling went off.

During the moulding process, I did a couple of the most stupid, unforgiveable things and deservedly found myself with less than a grand, shoving with 3s, getting called by 7s and busting out in 9th.

Needless to say, I am going to go and have a very brutal chat with myself.