Blinked and missed it

That didn't go according to plan.

First attempt at the £16 satellite to 109 quid final satellite for EPT London Ladies event tonight and it would be an understatement to say it wasn't the best night of my life.

...I say 'night'. Technically, it wasn't the best 25 minutes of my life.

5 minute blinds (which literally disappear in front of your eyes, especially when you're sat on an empty table, which has been opened to accommodate late reg players, for 2 minutes) and 1500 starting chips.

In spite of my winning the 2nd pot of the 'night' with A-high, a small (aborted) chase here, an early all-in over the top of your 8s, that logic and pot odds say you kinda have to ditch, there, an un-defendable big blind here and pair of pocket 4s un-done by an AK there, and, before you've drawn proper breath, you're shoving with KQ, with 6 BBs left, getting called by the BB's A4, the latter of which hits, and you're in the proverbial (and literal) early bath.

Am really rather frustrated at not being able to play properly; If you have no cards or your decent hand gets sucked out in the first 3 levels, you're left optionless. There were some girls in that event, against whom I played in the Monte Carlo satellites earlier this year, some of them very useful players, who ended up busting out even earlier than me - am still not sure if that makes me feel better or worse, though.

The whole tournament was done in an hour and I have to say I'm still to be convinced how such a lightning quick format can really separate the women from the girls (or men from the boys - it's not a gender thing). For the last 20 mins, drawing lots, arguably, could have settled it just as easily. I know that's the game sometimes (and, admittedly, I knew what I was getting into before I did it) - but it still doesn't help my foul mood right now...

I think I'm most frustrated, as I can't even see where I put a foot wrong to have it go so badly, so can't even learn much from it. If I had the whole thing over again, the only thing I MIGHT do differently is chance my lucky pocket 8s and call my stack off, on a bit of a wing and a prayer. Something which the Textbook Poker Fairy in my head doesn't like one bit, but needs must sometimes, I guess.

At the moment, I'm thinking I have to be better off just buying into the 109 quid weekend gig; 1 in 13 get a seat in the live event - and it's 15 min blinds, at least! - Or just knocking the whole idea on the head and buying in for my £200 direct, no messing about. Which is a shame, really, as I thoroughly enjoyed my Monte Carlo quali adventure, earlier in the year, and I got to play some good poker in very good company.

But even my maths is telling me it isn't making much financial sense the way it is, especially if I have committed to myself that I'm going to play, regardless - and, while picking Vanessa Rousso's brain would, of course, be very handy, I don't NEED the accommodation package, what with living 20 mins from Edgware Rd.

Anyway, whatever the sad emoticon with its bottom lip turned over like a 5 year old having a tantrum is, insert it here....