Marriage Guidance

If there were an organisation like Relate for poker players, I'd be booking me and the game a session now; We seem to be in a routine, the spark has most definitely gone and I am approaching it with a painfully pesimistic half-heartedness.

Put simply, I am playing like a middle-aged woman.

I had the (mis-)fortune to be dealt AK suited 1st hand and when my half pot bet into a paired board of Jacks and semi-connectors was massively re-raised on the river, I kinda had to fold. But having seen him play after, hindsight suggests I may just have been ahead.

I saw no pocket pairs all night (well the 2 hours I lasted for), not even sure I hit a flop - and, in fairness, only one hand I had would have won at showdown (5-9 diamonds which I folded pre flop but flushed on the river).

I gambled with value from blinds or late position with pretty marginal jacks and queens but got nowhere and, with a huge stack to my left and another live one a couple of seats further down, I couldn't really get busy, certainly not when the picture cards totally dried up.

The blinds seemed disproportionately painful for the early hour and I hit the break only marginally above half my starting stack, not having been given shove-able cards in the buy-back period.

I resolved a change of chip protector, letting my ponytail down and switching from water to my habitual chardonnay was in order. I had to try something. But one double up and the tournament would have a significantly different complexion.

Upon our return, I folded A-6 and A-5 off, multi-handed or against a raise of half my stack from early position. Yes, probably wus-y girlie folds where the pros would have been all-in in a heartbeat, but I just didn't feel it. Maybe this is part of the problem?

Then, not long after, again following a raise of 1100 under the gun with blinds still only 200-400, I saw KQ spades. Fully expecting (and hoping for) a call, I shove. I am up against K-J off. I should have been delighted but my heart sank. Never under-estimate women's intuition. We are very infrequently wrong.
I have my now traditional plea with the dealer to 'be nice', cos I feel like I should use all my remaining 'armour'.

Blanks on the flop; Rainbow. No spades, of course.
Jack, of course, on the turn.
Blank 2 on the river.

A polite 'good game' from my left, a sheepish look from the man with the Jack. A handshake and a 'good luck, everyone' from me.

What is a middle-aged woman to do? Not go play cash, that's for sure.